Talk Through a Preschool Conflict

1. 1

   If your child comes home and says, “Someone hit me,” stay calm and begin with simple fact-finding questions: “Where were you? Who was there? Where did you get hurt?”

2. 2

   If details are hard to remember, offer concrete choices: “Was it during lunch or while you were playing?”

3. 3

   Ask about feelings too: “Did it hurt? Were you scared? Did you cry?” Comfort your child if they seem frightened or sad.

4. 4

   If the account remains unclear or sounds serious, ask the teacher what they observed. Find out whether it was an accidental collision during play or intentional pushing or hitting.

5. 5

   Finally, practice what your child can do next time: “Say, ‘Don’t hit me,’ then go to your teacher and ask for help.” Make clear that they do not need to hit back.

What to notice

• Repeats a phrase they can use to ask a teacher for help Communicating and Speaking
• Recalls one or more details with your prompts Memory

Tips

• Keep your tone neutral while asking for details. Leading questions such as “Who bullied you?” or judgments such as “That child is so bad” can shape what your child says and add your alarm to their own feelings.

Developmental benefits

• Language: Recalling an upsetting event, naming how it felt, and rehearsing what to say gives your child practice expressing a need and asking a trusted adult for support.