Solutions for Small Conflicts

1. 1

   When your child has a conflict with another child, you may want to solve it immediately. Often, the children can try their own ideas first while you stay ready to help.

2. 2

   For example, your child may put down a toy and walk away, then protest when another child picks it up: “That’s my toy!”

3. 3

   Pause and observe before stepping in so your child has a chance to respond.

4. 4

   If the conflict escalates and both children hold on to the toy, intervene calmly and explain that there are several ways to solve the problem.

5. 5

   Ask for more time: “I’m still playing with it. You can have a turn when I’m finished.”

6. 6

   Offer a trade if the other child brought a toy: “Would you like to trade? You can use my car while I use your plane.”

7. 7

   If your child is not ready to share, help them put the toy away until they are ready.

What to notice

• Tries a strategy such as trading to resolve a conflict with another child Relationships with Other Children
• Negotiates with another child to resolve a conflict Communicating and Speaking

Tips

• Stepping in too quickly—by taking the toy away or assigning turns—can reduce your child’s opportunity to practice resolving the problem. Observe first, then support only as much as the situation needs.

Developmental benefits

• Social/Emotional: Practicing a real peer conflict helps your child state a need, negotiate or trade, and try a simple way to resolve the problem.