Everyone Has Their Own Strengths

1. 1

   Sometimes a confident child may boast or feel they always need to win. You can help them value their own progress while also noticing other people’s strengths.

2. 2

   Use less comparison and more specific encouragement. Help your child feel proud of improving, not only of being better than someone else.

3. 3

   While drawing, look at several pictures together: “Your animal looks very lifelike, and Maya chose beautiful colors.”

4. 4

   While building, shift the conversation from who built best to how each structure is different: “Everyone built it in their own way. There are lots of creative ideas here.”

5. 5

   If another child cries after losing a game, talk about the effort they made and how they may feel.

6. 6

   Model the same respect yourself by speaking warmly about other people’s work and feelings.

What to notice

• Begins noticing another person’s strength, such as “She chose beautiful colors” Relationships with Other Children
• Describes another person’s creation, such as “They built a big dinosaur with lots of blocks” Attending and Understanding

Tips

• Comparison is not limited to saying, “They drew better than you.” Even praise such as “You did better than Dad” turns the moment into a comparison. Notice these everyday phrases and focus instead on what your child tried, noticed, or enjoyed.

Developmental benefits

• Social/Emotional: Expressing pride while also noticing another person’s strengths gives your child practice considering someone else’s feelings during a peer interaction.